bored-_-

Sooo i make another fan fic. So sorry, I start another story when i have undone fanfic. I promise to finish them all!

Title:  a fool’s only tears (chapter 1)

Character: shinee,f(x) main character would be exposed later.

Rating: G

Genre: high school AU, angst

I hate it when you smile at her, not for me. 

I hate it when i saw you throwing glances to my directions and i would fly in the conclusion that you might be staring at me but then i realized that you want to see her-not me.

But i cant hate you,nor her. I just can’t. NO matter how much i try.

 For god’s sake,I’m her best friend-and a good friend of yours. In fact she knows that i like you,there’s no way she could betray on me,is it? 

But yeah, still. I’m worried sick that she would like you more than she should. And she choose you, over me. Over her best friend.

 It’s sound so selfish that i want you all for myself. I couldn’t handle the freaky feeling when i saw you laugh to someone else’s(read: her) joke. I couldn’t handle this horrible feeling when i saw you with someone else(read:her),not me.

 

  I never told this to anyone.(In this situation,people often talks to their best friend. Yeah, that’s what i usually do too.. but when your problem is including your best friend what will you do?)

  Every day i saw you there i want to scream: I’m a fucking idiot who loves you, do you realize it,stupid? I’m pretty obvious, don’t you see? STOP STARING AT HER! 

  Because every time you close enough to me, I’m invisible. I would just listen to your saying and her laughs and your response and you wouldn’t hear anything besides her anyway. I tried to responding as well but you completely deaf on me. Oh yeah, the pain& embarrassment &jealous feeling i got every time we-oh i mean you&her- talk. Just you and her.

   Who i am to you, stupid?

Your love’s best friend(it’s sounds so stupid,but it’s the truth, right?)

A friend. Only and forever a friend.

---

I admit that she's the one who awesome, nice to everyone, has sunshine-y smile, more mature than me.

I'm only a girl who loves to pouts,whining everywhere, i'm too loud,i'm younger than her,childish and immature.

And basically , i am  everything that is not classified under your preference list.

------

I could imagine people’s reaction when i told them this(For example; victoria,Krystal and amber)

They would think i’m being a diva again, makes something looks bigger than it is. They would say I’m over reacting.

Or maybe i am. Maybe I’m hallucinating the sparkle in your eyes when you look at her. Maybe I’m just too jealous to think clearly. 

But I was seeing something different.

I saw your smirk on her, the playful smirk I never saw. I saw your widest smile when you talk to her, then I tried to remember when I ever saw you with this smile-but I don’t remember a thing. I saw you staring at her and when she looking back you looked away, trying to avoid her gaze. I saw them all, and how I wish I’m not. I wish I was her, the one you look at.

---

HOW WAS IT GUYSSS??????????????????