:|

"if we're really desperate for something we're less likely to receive it."

On another day, i laid my eyes on this certain line when i browsed the internet. For no certain reason, i've gotten my eyes glued, fixed in this line for seconds. It is really, really easy to say. It's as easy as talking about the weather, or random things like but.... trying to actually make this line work in real life is hard, so freaking hard.. Cause me, myself is desperate for lot of things these days. I am desperate for lack of sleep, for example. for good grades and me achieving 'this thing' i want so bad. And i'm also desperate for i always think foolish and unimportant. You can guess, people. 

Desperate is a hard word, but no words could describe my feeling better than this. I've got no one to cling into, and if i have one i probably won't want to cling either. I'd rather do everything in my own. It's different than individual works and team works. I love doing team works, but i found myself wanting no one to help me solve harder problems. I'm not a child anymore, i have to handle it alone. And anyway, people get their own problems and they are there to ask what's wrong,are you ok but they're never the one who help you through the problem. You're the problem maker so you have to be the solver, too. I'm thankful for the ones who care when i got into problems, but they don't know how i feel. The same goes to every people in the world. 

no one knows about how you feel.

It is sad, but it's also true. people try to make you feel better, from actions, or words. I prefer action,though, because from what i ever experienced, people says a lot of hopes, empty ones. I've learned to never believe in certain people's sayings, cause if i believe in them i ended up disappointed....

p.s doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou? blah.